And now for something completely different.

So I went to Whole Foods. It was disappointing. I just thought you guys should know that. STEP IT UP, Whole Foods UK! I mean really. At least they had coconut oil but that was about all I found that I even went there for. Maybe I should drop out of grad school and become a buyer for Whole Foods UK. YEAH?! No? Okay.

In other news, and as you probably saw from my last post, I love my neighborhood. LOVE IT. Some people who think they are better than other people don't like my neighborhood. Seriously. I told this girl where I lived and said I loved it and she was like "Isn't it like...kind of dingy?" I wanted to be like "UM YOU'RE DINGY. RUDE." But I didn't. Don't burn bridges if you don't have to. Some people just can't handle it I guess? It really isn't dingy. It's inexpensive and multi-cultural (mostly Africans and Arabs...there's LOTS of Halal eateries and lots of like...African food restaurants. Also a Thai place with weird rice), and if someone can't handle that it's really not my problem. *snap* *snap*

....I think it's akin to living in Oakland of the Bay Area. North of the River Thames (pronounced Tems) is like San Francisco and south of the river, where I live, is like Oakland. Minus the police brutality, ya herd?


Speaking of police, we had a funny but cool police officer come talk to us at orientation about all sorts of laws. Apparently I can't have pepper spray here which is completely ridiculous, but whatever. Anyway, cops here don't carry guns except a very few of them who work closer in to the Capitol, like near the really important government buildings. The rest carry batons that I guess they just whack people with. Which is fine with me. Guns aren't really a thing here anyway. I went out to some clubs the other night and when the security woman checked my purse she informed me she was looking for knives. Apparently people knife each other here instead. Stabby stab. Though not very often. Mostly they just lift (aka steal) your phone from your pocket and sell it. It's like their biggest crime problem, which is really not so bad if you think about it.

You know what else is great about London? Or maybe it's the UK in general? My campus has a bar. None of this "dry campus" nonsense. IN FACT, I have a drink mixer with my department in like 2 weeks, IN OUR CLASSROOM. I will be having a pint with my professors and fellow students, how cool is that? Cheers to that, mate.

Speaking of...cider is really popular here and it makes me happy because they have pear cider almost EVERYWHERE you go. Including my campus bar. Check out this selection at the local supermarket. I was amazed:

And now...FUNNY/AWKWARD AMERICAN CUSTOM STORY TIME. 

Okay so in Arizona, whenever I see a neighbor whom I don't know or some random person on the street or at the store, and I make eye contact with them, I give a small smile and go on my way. Usually they smile back. If it's in my condo complex, we probably say hello and maybe even ask how they are.

So I've been doing that here. Smiling at the passerby in my neighborhood or at the dude or girl whom I make eye contact with on the tube. Well APPARENTLY you are absolutely not supposed to do this. APPARENTLY British people are very into privacy and their own private worlds/space bubbles and when I smile at them they think I am a total fricking weirdo. Or they think I'm trying to hit on them. I have been told to not even make eye contact. When I'm on the tube I'm supposed to look at the ground or look at someone's shoulder but not their face. NEVER THE FACE. DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!?!

But now I feel bad!!! Because I accidentally make eye contact and then look away which is so awkward and rude! I just want to smile and be friendly but apparently I am not allowed. :( 

The good thing about that though is there's never some jerk-off who looks at me and tells me to "smile!" I hate that, and I definitely don't have to worry about a British person ever doing that to me. So at least there's a silver lining to this whole thing. 

And now I shall close this very long post with some weird British words and slang:

• Gas = Petrol
• Cart or Stroller = Trolley
• Liquor Store = Off-License
• Pickle = Gherkin 
• Elevator = Lift
• Garbage/Trash Can = Rubbish Bin
• How are you? = Alright, love? (Or just Alright? to which I wonder if I really AM alright, or perhaps I look pale or sickly or perhaps I have something on my face?)